Ryan T. Anderson — a staunch Defender of the Faith®. Ms. Darnelle seems unhinged.
Ms. Darnelle (whom I believe is a resident of Washington State) writes:
It all started with a divorce:
Every time a new state redefines marriage, the news is full of happy stories of gay and lesbian couples and their new families. But behind those big smiles and sunny photographs are other, more painful stories. These are left to secret, dark places. They are suppressed, and those who would tell them are silenced in the name of “marriage equality.”
But I refuse to be silent.
I represent one of those real life stories that are kept in the shadows. I have personally felt the pain and devastation wrought by the propaganda that destroys natural families.
In the fall of 2007, my husband of almost ten years told me that he was gay and that he wanted a divorce. In an instant, the world that I had known and loved—the life we had built together—was shattered.Back the fuck up. This wasn't his new identity. Rather, this man was coming to terms with his true self. Now I don't know this man. We don't even know his name but he came into the marriage as a gay man and left the marriage as a gay man. It is the shame that institutions like the Catholic Church clothes people in that causes them to enter into these sham marriages in the first place. Remember, the Church teaches that homosexuality is like a bad habit. They even offer a 12-step program, treating it like a drug dependency. It is all spectacularly stupid and ignorant. A slavish devotion to ancient texts and the "teachings" of ambitious celibates.
[ … ]
Being gay trumped commitment, vows, responsibility, faith, fatherhood, marriage, friendships, and community. All of this was thrown away for the sake of his new identity.
Furthermore, as she admits, her state did not recognize same-sex marriage so take marriage equality off the table. I would argue that acceptance and the recognition of same-sex marriage prevents these arrangements in the first place.
Apparently the family court judge gave primary custody to the man, something that is still rare. She claims it was based on economics (the ex-husband and boyfriend earned more than she did). That's what child support is for. My guess is that the judge saw this woman as the whack job that she seems to be and thought that the kids would be better off with dad. Incomes play no part in the judgment of who is the best primary parent. I am more than a little skeptical.
Either way, this woman is pissed. Dad and his partner were among the first to get married in the state:
USA Today did a photo journal shoot on my ex and his partner, my children, and even the grandparents. I was not notified that this was taking place, nor was I given a voice to object to our children being used as props to promote same-sex marriage in the media.Madame, you do not have custody. Your consent is not required. Got it? According to her:
And my ex-husband’s new marriage, like the majority of male-male relationships, is an “open,” non-exclusive relationship. This sends a clear message to our children: what you feel trumps all laws, promises, and higher authorities. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want—and it doesn’t matter who you hurt along the way.So the majority of gay men who are married are in open marriages? Where did that come from? Did her ex-husband tell he that or is this an uneducated guess? Possibly the latter because she is not happy unless she is plying stereotypes:
Our two young children were willfully and intentionally thrust into a world of strife and combative beliefs, lifestyles, and values, all in the name of “gay rights.” Their father moved into his new partner’s condo, which is in a complex inhabited by sixteen gay men. One of the men has a 19-year-old male prostitute who comes to service him. Another man, who functions as the father figure of this community, is in his late sixties and has a boyfriend in his twenties. My children are brought to gay parties where they are the only children and where only alcoholic beverages are served. They are taken to transgender baseball games, gay rights fundraisers, and LGBT film festivals.After the explanation of how she lost custody, I am suspect of just about everything that this woman writes. I question how she knows that a man has a teen prostitute. Nevertheless, even if true, there are plenty of heterosexual men who indulge in teen prostitutes of the opposite sex. Moreover, I see older men with twinkie girlfriends a fraction of there age all the time. So even if true, this is hardly a gay phenomenon. Attaching these things to sexual orientation is a smear. It is bigotry.
The fact that the kids are exposed to LGBT activities can only broaden their understanding of the world. They might even become critical thinkers. Homosexuality is not contagious neither is transgenderism.
Both of my children face identity issues, just like other children. Yet there are certain deep and unique problems that they will face as a direct result of my former husband’s actions. My son is now a maturing teen, and he is very interested in girls. But how will he learn how to deal with that interest when he is surrounded by men who seek sexual gratification from other men?These identity issues seem to be of her design and manufacture. So her son has developed into a straight teen after all. The conceit and heterosexualism are staggering. I'm guessing that dad had some qualities that caused him to get custody in the first place. His respect and love for his spouse will go a long way towards teaching his son how to deal with girlfriends. The biggest problem this kid is likely to have is his overbearing and unstable mother!
My daughter suffers too. She needs a dad who will encourage her to embrace her femininity and beauty, but these qualities are parodied and distorted in her father's world."Too?" The boy is suffering? If the daughter suffers it is probably at the hands of her maniacal mother. The "suffering" of both of these children seems to reside solely in the mind of their deranged mother.
My children and I have suffered great losses because of my former husband’s decision to identify as a gay man and throw away his life with us. Time is revealing the depth of those wounds, but I will not allow them to destroy me and my children. I refuse to lose my faith and hope.Again with the suffering which is merely a reflection of the fact that her husband divorced her and got custody. My guess is that the children are suffering less because this woman is insufferable. Again, there is a reason that she lost custody.
And by the way, would it be so different if dad divorced for another woman and got custody of the kids? The chorus would be different but the melodrama might very well be the same. The real problem here is that she was rejected.
This polemic comes to a conclusion:
This type of devastation should never happen to another spouse or child. Please, I plead with you: defend marriage as being between one man and one woman. We must stand for marriage—and for the precious lives that marriage creates.What devastation is she referring to? As for marriage equality, her ex-husband divorced her years before entering into a same-sex marriage. Where is the link? Where are these dots connected? This woman is seeking a new identity as some brave warrior against those dastardly homosexuals (who are intrinsically disordered according to the Church). Where is the courage? It's done. Get over it and get on with your life. Join an order of nuns.
More importantly, if this diatribe is representative of her attitude with her children it is she who is going to make them uncertain, insecure and neurotic. She is going to damage her kids a whole lot more than their attending a queer baseball game (which is probably a lot more fun than Ms. Darnelle is capable of being). This woman is probably not a bundle of laughs. Now she can join the circuit (or should I say circus) that includes their house faggots, Doug Mainwaring and Robert Oscar Lopez. Perhaps, for amusement, they will file a combined amicus brief with the Supreme Court.