Wednesday, May 13, 2015

I think that ADF wants us to put our children up for adoption

Wednesday, Alliance Defending Freedom provides us with a polemic on their blog titled “Is 'love makes a family' really a fair thing to tell kids?

They begin with some fiction:
In the movie What a Girl Wants, 17-year-old Daphne Reynolds has an exceptional relationship with her mother. They are best friends, she knows she’s loved, and she has a great life. But something is missing.
She longs for her separated father and so on ad nauseum. Why are we discussing a movie? By the way the movie, released in 2003 is a comedy.


Then ADF goes to the ever-present Katy Faust — one of Robert Oscar Lopez's chums who has become a standard for cross bearers:
Katy Faust was raised by her mom and her mom’s same-sex partner after her mom and dad divorced. She co-wrote an amicus brief for the Supreme Court marriage cases, and in it, she called for the Justices to consider the needs of children, including their natural desire to know both their mom and dad.
Ms. Faust's real problem, of course, is the divorce of her parents. But hey, blaming the gays is always good for some attention in right wing religious circles. She got just what she wanted, and then some.

Yet I ask; What on earth is the point of all this demagoguery? Presumably this is part of their marriage discrimination campaign which will, hopefully, come to and end next month. How does marriage equality, in any way, affect Katy's life? What effect does it have on the separation from her father? Suppose her two moms could have married; what would change for the worse?

It is a fact that gay couples are raising children. Most are probably from prior marriages. Gays also adopt children and a few have the resources to utilize artificial reproductive technology. Now I haven't done a study but I would argue that most of these kids, like Katy, had same-sex parents long before marriage equality. So what is the connection to same-sex marriage? Are married gay couples more likely to adopt children then committed unmarried couples? Perhaps but my late partner and I (unmarried but together more than 30 years) likely would have adopted were it not for the fact that we were raising his two nephews.

Using children to denigrate same-sex marriage is a perilous endeavor. Children are the very reason that gay couples should be able to legally marry. It is a fact that same-sex couples are raising hundreds of thousands of kids. If the state prohibits their marriage then the state is intentionally disadvantaging those kids. It's a simple question really: Are the children being raised by same-sex couples better off if their parents marry? Who could possibly say “no.”

ADF would say no because they disapprove of gay people. What would they have us do with the children that we are already raising?

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