Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Thunderstorms in Miami Beach present a wealth opportunity

Imagine if I claimed to have been hit by lightning. At that very moment I saw Jesus and converted to Christianity. And, of course, the gay is gone. I am now a full-fledged white Christian heterosexual and I am entitled to every benefit that inures to the controlling majority. I'd go to Hooters but Jesus would not approve.

Before the end of the day I file for a 501(c)3 for my new ministry. New website — “tax-exempt status pending” with an explanation of retroactive deductibles. Just by being in my presence for a period of time homosexuals will leave the lifestyle. Divorces stop in their tracks. Potentially abortive mothers yearn for their babies with no further thought of slaughtering them. All it takes for these miracles is the touch of my blessed hands.

If I did this right hundreds of thousands of people would believe me without hesitation. Hell, they believe Cindy Jacobs who claims to be a prophetess and she doesn't even play the part very well. I think that God wants me to have a new Ferrari.

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